empty but happy

You know what…

I fell so lonely today, no no no, empty is the correct word.
I wake up this afternoon (10 o’clock is afternoon right, he he, been busy chat with my yayang ‘til dawn) and I feel bolt from the blue.
I dream about my yayang (exactly what she ask in her last sms .. love u) so I called her and after that I wonder, what should I do today?

Damn… it’s a bloody Saturday and I still don’t know what to do.
For sure I have a several things to do.
First I must accompany my abah to go to hospital for routine medical check up, but my brother offer himself to go with him.
He thinks that I must be sleepy, thanks bro, but you’re totally wrong bro.
Even I sleep in a short time but I slept in happiness.

So my first task is finish, after take a quick bath and has a sandwich for breakfast, I go down to my mothers room, she is still recovering after 3 weeks hospitalized, but it’s a different story.
I see all my brothers and sister are there, so I think they don’t need me anymore, after bla bla bla, I decided to go to my friend cell phone shop with my cousin.

When I walked through his shop, I stunned, I saw Nokia 6100, same like my cute yayang cell phone.
Oh God, why everything’s in this world always remind me of her?
Sometimes it makes my heart so sore.
I love her so much, I never have this feeling before and I don’t want to lose it, but God .. please help me, I miss her but my hands are tied cause she’s still study in Singapore, sooooo faraway from here.
So please God, show me the way to pass this life with this feeling. It’s almost beyond me.

Hey .. it’s like a déjà vu, after the same bla bla bla, I give up.
I prefer to stay at home and wrap up my whole day there rather than outside and do nothing.
So I start the engine and press the play button on my mp3’s playback.
Guess what? I heard sentimental voice from Chantal Kreviazuk singing ‘Leaving on the jet plane’.

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn
The taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go'

Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane

I don't know when I'll be back again

Oh, babe, I hate to go

There's so many times I've let you down

So many times I've played around

I'll tell you now, they don't mean a thing

Every place I go, I think of you

Every song I sing, I sing for you

When I come back I'll wear your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll wait for me

Hold me like you'll never let me go'

Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane

I don't know when I'll be back again

Oh, babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you

One more time, oh, let me kiss you

And close your eyes and I'll be on my way

Dream about the days to come

When I won't have to leave alone

About the times that I won't have to say ...

Oh, kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll wait for me

Hold me like you'll never let me go

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane

I don't know when I'll be back again

Oh, babe, I hate to go

And I'm leaving on a jet plane

I don't know when I'll be back again

Oh, babe, I hate to go

It doesn’t take so long when I starting to feel something in my eyes.

Something strange creeping on my heart, I don’t feel sad, not at all, what I feel is only joy and happiness, and I thanks to God that He give me a change to feel this feelings.

So, he I am, starting to write this blog.
Still empty but happy.
empty but happy

djakarta
january 08, 2005
joeffry