at the end of the rainbow

Today is a bloody mess, cannot concentrate at all, practically I’ve done nothing.
My mind wasn’t here, it’s jumping from a mpwfmz past to a dpogvtjoh present and ebslfojoh future.
Where ever I turn around I saw a bunch of people chatting, laughing or bussy with something, suddenly I felt alone. And it’s stung, deep .. very deep.

When I went home, I heard a song by John Denver from my favorite station, it’s a good sign to end this night, and I let my mind race from time to time and poured to endless black hole, looking for a shed of light.

For You
John Denver

Just to look in your eyes again
Just to lay in your arms
Just to be the first one always there for you
Just to live in your laughter
Just to sing in your heart
Just to be everyone of your dreams come true

Just to sit by your window
Just to touch in the night
Just to offer a prayer each day for you
Just to long for your kisses
Just to dream of your sighs
Just to know that Id give my life for you

For you for the rest of my life
For you all the best of my life
For you alone, only for you

Just to wake up each morning
Just to you by my side
Just to know that you're never really far away
Just a reason for living
Just to say I adore
Just to know that you’re here in my heart to stay

For you for the rest of my life
For you all the best of my life
For you alone, only for you

Just the words of a love song
Just the beat of my heart
Just the pledge of my life, my love, for you

Ya Allah, please guide me to pass this night and the night after.
I tried very hard; even to write this blog, maybe just maybe, this is my last blog.

batavia
april 5, 2006
joeffry
at the end of the rainbow ... there is a pot of golds